December 2011
Why being a girl isn't working out for me:
Body: Oh, guess what time of the month it is!
Me: Please, god, no--
Ovaries: ALL SYSTEMS GOOOOOOOO!!!
Brain: I quit. i quit. kittens and cupcakes and no one loves me. oh my god salty snacks i am furious
Me: Please, guys, calm down--
Face: TIME TO RUIN EVERYTHING YOU HAVE EVER LIKED ABOUT ME. I'M GROWING MOUNTAINS, BITCHES.
Brain: And now I'm ugly! shbdksdnksbn
Torso: Time to practice labor. cramp this bitch up. GO GO GO GO GO GO
Me: STOP IT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!
Stomach: lol clothes cant fit you anymore. you are bloated. you are now a balloooooooon!
Me: I hate you all
Brain: I KNOW EVERYONE HATES ME I AM SO DEPRESSED. we need to procreate.
Face: Lol, i'm not done yet.
Uterus: what did i ever do to deserve this?
Brain: you just wait uterus. they're going to make you hold a baby for like 9 months straight.
Uterus: You mother fuckers.
Torso: CONTRACT!
Me: I quit being female, I am now a llama.
Brain: Me gusta.
Me: Why am I still single?
Brain: You're weird as shit, lol.
Body: And you're fat lmao.
Face: Plus you're pretty ugly too lmfao.
Food: Don't worry babe, I'm here for you.
deep down
deep down, i still love you.
deep down, i still think of you and
deep down, i still think we should be together.
deep down, i knew i had to let you go because
deep down, i knew you didn’t like me and
deep down, i knew you never would open your eyes to see us that way.
deep down, you would have never wanted me like that, and if you did,
deep down, you’re just a boy who needs to...
